Fine, I'll embrace it

Since it appears I have developed chronic pregnancy it no longer makes sense for me to just survive and wish it away. Instead I have decided to look at the bright sides and advantages of being pregnant forever. Here's my list:

-Instilling fear in passersby- It seems that everywhere I go now people can't help but gawk. If looks could talk they would all be saying, "Please go home before I have to deliver your baby in the restaurant/freezer section/park/etc." Part of me wants to wince and grab my stomach just to see what they would do but I am loathe to offend the labor gods at this point so I restrain myself.

-Built in shelf- Now that it's really only possible to sit in a reclined position, I can't quite reach my plate if it's on a table. Luckily nature has provided me with my own table of sorts that holds my food right under my face and even catches any crumbs. It should be noted, however, that I don't care about crumbs. I eat my meals on the couch and make a mess and that's that.

-Sympathy- Everyone assumes I am perpetually uncomfortable, hungry, and running to the bathroom. They are correct and it's nice of them to care. I skipped the soccer game this weekend but somehow still received gifts. G returned home with a batch of Katie's homemade oreos and a vase of flowers from some very nice ladies. Katie even employed a clever shipping quality control method of texting me how many cookies to expect just to make sure none disappeared in transport.

Mix these with ice cream and you'll never go back to regular Cookies and Cream

-Bathroom privileges- Technically this falls under sympathy but it's a special and much appreciated kind. If there is ever a line for the bathroom, I am immediately ushered to the front. Yesterday at the theater (yes, I go see Broadway productions on Sunday afternoons) one of the ushers actually kicked the cleaning crew out of the women's room because I "looked like I couldn't wait."

Relive your childhood and go see this!

source

-Loss of guilt- Pedicures have always felt like a bit of a guilty pleasure to me. They aren't cheap and no one is really looking at your toes that closely... hopefully. I figured even the shabby job I could do on my own toes would look ok from 5-6 ft. away. I also never believed that I would reach a point where I couldn't touch my toes. Technically I haven't reached that point I suppose. I can still touch them, it's just that I can't breathe and touch them at the same time so I have a pedicure scheduled for Wednesday morning. It goes without saying I would happily cancel the appointment to rush to the hospital, however.

I'm sure the list goes on and over the next 50 years of my pregnancy I will continue to add to it. One thing I'd like to try is being pregnant in another city. Since chronic pregnancy is a bit of an epidemic here I think I'm not getting all of the sympathy and fearful looks that I might experience in other places where my condition is more rare. In fact, one of the downsides I've noticed here is that moms seem to have the opposite of sympathy for me. As they cut me off and push by with their double-wide stroller, their looks appear to say, "You think your life sucks now? Just wait!" Little do they know I'll never need a stroller since baby is so comfy right where he is.

39 weeks. I also get to wear PJ's 24 hours a day and no one dares comment.