The Fattest Wedding Guest

I haven't posted in a while so this is a long one. Prepare your attention span accordingly.

As I posted earlier I was supposed to go in for my gestational diabetes test last week but was out of town for my brother's wedding. Given that I was given this gift- an extra week of eating sweets if I end up being diagnosed with GD- I intended to live it to the fullest. The festivities kicked off with the bridal shower and hen party (bachelorette for the Americans), moved on to the rehearsal dinner, and of course finished with the wedding itself! Put into other terms, we started with scones, cakes, bite sized desserts, and massive amounts of candy, moved on to delicious cheesecake tarts and cannolis, and finished with cupcakes and my mom's lemon pie. As is tradition in our family, we drastically over-prepared food such that each person would have 4 servings of dessert available to them per day. As such there were leftovers to be consumed both before and after the celebrations. It was a-m-a-z-i-n-g.

There should be 2 parts lemon curd per 1 part scone

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I've been trying so hard to be healthy this entire pregnancy figuring that it was one thing to feed myself crap but quite another to force it upon a helpless fetus. Needless to say this level of processed sugar should have been quite a shock to the system. Luckily my pancreas really stepped it up for the occasion. I like to look at it as training for the diabetes test. My pancreas really needed to get out and stretch its legs after being on such a healthy regimen for months.

Keep your paws off that pie, kid.

I have, in fact, always believed that there is a little something special about my insulin response. When other people stop eating desserts because they are "too sweet" or are "starting to feel sick" I plow through. I can most definitely say that those are two phrases I have never uttered when it comes to anything with sugar. All you people who scrape the icing off the cake baffle me. Icing is the real dessert! The cake is just bread to hold the icing.

The cake isn't even required

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My body just seems to NEED more sugar than everyone else's. In fact I am thoroughly convinced that I somehow actually extract nutrients from glucose. I always imagine that I'm from another planet where the only food source is sugar cane and thus my internal organs are all finely tuned to subsisting solely off of this substance. As proof that this is true and that I was this way from birth, my mom's favorite tidbit to share about my childhood is how I would hide in the fridge and eat sugar straight out of the bag with a spoon.

Even though I'm very proud of my sugar tolerance I will admit I'm a tad nervous about the results of this upcoming test. I really hope that this "something special" about my pancreas isn't a serious medical condition known to doctors as diabetes.

50g of glucose chilling in the fridge for test day.

In case you are wondering if there were any consequences to eating this way for a week... in short, yes.

Prior to this trip I was starting to get a tad (neurotically) concerned that I was growing a small baby. Everyone keeps saying I have such a small bump. Despite the fact that I know this is the pregnancy equivalent of "oh you're so skinny!" and people will say it no matter how much of a heifer you are, it didn't stop me from getting a little bit of a complex. (See my earlier post on how it's really best to say nothing but "you look great!") I also wasn't gaining the proper weight amounts according to the doctors' charts. When I brought this up with the world's most laid back doctor (mine) obviously he said it was fine but I'm starting to find his calm message less reassuring. (Freak out about something! Please??)

Well, fast forward to my most recent weigh-in, which also happened to be my post wedding weigh-in. Somehow I managed to really step it up with the extra pounds while in DC!! (I use the word somehow here as if it's a mystery how this happened...) Since I promised I wouldn't explicitly discuss weight and belly buttons and I already broke the latter... let's just say I had gained X lbs during the first 28 weeks and during week 29 alone I managed to gain .5X lbs. You read that correctly. I gained 1/3 of my total pregnancy weight in one week. Hooray? Guess what enormous baby I'm not worried about anymore!! Clearly somebody takes after his mother and thrives on pure sugar! I'm already excited to see his reaction when he gets an entire cake to smash his face in for his 1st birthday.

I've decided (well not really a decision given the above empirical PROOF!) that scones with lemon curd and my mom's pies are a vital part of a healthy pregnancy.

29 weeks and a few days.

Mama's little fat kid.