Childbirth class- Kardashian style

The Kardashian sisters like to recap their day by sharing the peach, or high point, and the pit, or low point. I sort of like this method and it seems like a perfect way to describe our recent childbirth class experience. I think G's reaction to the whole thing was slightly different, but for me it was an overwhelming experience filled with many peaches and pits and very little middle ground. I found myself constantly vacillating between excitement and terror. I'm hoping this is normal for a first time mom-to-be? Side note: it's probably not normal how many of my baby blog posts revolve around the Kardashians?

Can a baby have 3 godmothers?

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Let's save the best for last and start with the top 3 pits of the day:

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1. We started the class by talking about baby positions. The instructor brought a baby doll and a model of a human pelvis. Of course I had flashbacks to my first chiropractor appointment where he took out the spine and pelvis models but I tried to put that behind me. Our instructor proceeded to show us how baby should be positioned for delivery, with his giant melon snug between my hip bones. Then she started moving the doll through the model birth canal. Only problem was the doll's head didn't fit. She twisted and turned and tried as hard as she could but it wasn't happening. Then she chuckled and said, "Looks like I brought the wrong pelvis! This baby's gonna break mommy's tailbone!" I choked down vomit and put my head between my knees to try to keep from fainting.

2. I've always made frequent bathroom trips due to my pea sized bladder but I was led to believe that every pregnant lady was constantly running for the bathroom. Turns out that even when I'm in a room full of pregnant women I still feel like a freak for how often I have to go. This class went from 9 am 'til 4 pm and I was the ONLY one who had to get up at all during class. This means I was definitely the only one that had to get up 5 times during class. We took one morning break and one break for lunch and I can only assume everyone else peed these times at least?? All of the other women must be tragically dehydrated.

3. Although I pretty much already knew this fact, the class confirmed for me that I won't be allowed to eat once I check-in to Labor & Delivery. This is in case they have to do emergency surgery, yadda yadda. For this reason our instructor advised staying at home for the early stages of labor. She said it would be important to eat to keep your energy up. Now I have to come up with a way to balance my neuroticism and hypochondria which will encourage me to head to the hospital at the slightest sign of a contraction, with my fickle blood sugar levels that when low turn me into a raging B. Apparently if I bring my own lolipops, however, those will be overlooked. I will definitely be stocking up on Tootsie Pops since they at least have a substantial chocoately center.

And for the peach:

 

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The peach of the day wasn't really one glorious moment but more of a general vibe from the day. I felt like I walked away from class with a pretty good idea of what will actually go on during the big day (or big couple of days, eek). We know where to park and how to check in and we even know what the rooms look like and confirmed that they have free Wi-Fi! In fact I felt so comfortable in the Labor and Delivery wing and loved the nurses so much that I just couldn't stay away. The next day I developed debilitating stomach cramps just so I could actually check into the hospital, try on those stylish gowns, and hang out in one of the adjustable beds. No, seriously, that happened. I'm fine, baby is fine, and I wasn't in labor! They said the cramping was caused by dehydration (!!??). All good news and I'm feeling better but I'll save that story for another post. In the meantime we can all wonder how my non-peeing classmates have managed to avoid this fate??

33 weeks and full of Gatorade