Swollen insecurities

At my last appointment, my doctor examined my feet and told me that I should be ready to kiss my "bony ankles" goodbye. He assured me that over the next few weeks I would swell up like a sponge and that although uncomfortable it was normal. I sort of thought that if I wasn't a swollen mess by now that I had likely escaped that one particular aspect of pregnancy but his ominous warning came just in time.

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Sure enough, at various times this week I've noticed that my wedding and engagement rings were getting a bit tight. I can still take them off with only mild straining so that's good for now. However, I really don't want them getting stuck so that they have to be cut off my doughy fingers. The logical thing to do is take them off now so that I can avoid this fate. I can't bring myself to do it though.

It's not for the reason you think. It's not that I'm beyond emotionally attached to the rings. Don't get me wrong, I think they're pretty and shiny and I love my husband dearly but I don't feel any less married to him if I don't have rings on. (I'm thinking this is the sign of a happy stable relationship hopefully?) My reason for not wanting to go ringless is mostly due to the fact that I fear other's judgment. Let's just say we don't live in the most open minded and liberal city in the world and I really would rather not get a bunch of judgey looks every time I'm in public. (Already happens when I buy beer for G at the grocery store!) I really would like to think that I am a strong and confident woman who is comfortable enough in myself to survive in this conservative culture but it turns out that is not the case. I am a middle school girl on the inside and I really want to dress like everyone else so they like me.

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For now I'm taking a big risk and leaving the rings on. I'll have to decide how far I'm willing to go with my insecurities as some people apparently buy a fake ring in a bigger size to wear for the later swollen weeks. I hope G has more stable self esteem than I do and he won't think my $5 cubic zirconia ring from Claire's says he's less of a man than those guys who get their wives real diamonds.

too much?
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