1 year wrap-up: Why I still won't let my kid cry it out

Made you look! I'm not really going to tell you, again, why I won't let my kid cry it out. You know why? Because either you already totally agree with me or you never will and don't care why. I finally figured it out, the mommy-wars are just like Facebook. We all just want to post tons of links to stories about how the other guy is a socialist/puppy killer. But here is the thing: no one clicks on those links! I have never once read a political attack that made me think, "Ohhhh, I see. You have made me change my entire world view. Now I think poor people are just lazy and don't deserve health care!!" I'm sure people of the opposite political persuasion can come up with equally snotty and condescending things to say about my views and will likewise not change their minds.  (Unless they watched Bill Clinton's speech last night and are total converts, AMIRITE??)

The baby-sleep-wars are just politics, only more emotional and hormonal. Everyone wants to tell you about what they did and how it was the only right choice and if you don't do it well you are stupid and don't love your baby. I want to do this too! The thing is, when you explain yourself their eyes glaze over as their lips slowly purse into a disapproving smirk.

So here we are one year later and B is still sleeping like a newborn (worse really) which means there is little to report on that front. What has changed though is the way my grocery store check-outs go.

The Old Way
Well-meaning stranger/friend/family member: So how is he sleeping?
Me: Horribly! He sleeps in our bed.
WMSFFM: Oh <pause for judgey stare and cringe>. You know he is never going to leave your bed right? You need to just let him cry. Go read <insert one of four book titles>. It worked for me/my daughter/my neighbor.
Me: [steps on to hippie high horse]  I think it's normal and natural for a baby to sleep with mom, blah blah blah, job as mother to attend to baby's needs, blah blah, give baby a sense of security, blah, teach baby that someone is always there for him, blah, parenting is not a 12 hr/day job, blah blah, obviously I am better than you for doing this, blah, your kid is probably going to go to jail.

The New Way
Well-meaning stranger/friend/family member: So how is he sleeping?
Me: Horribly! He sleeps in our bed.
I may have slightly matured but I still like to see people's horrified reactions.
WMSFFM: Oh <pause for exaggerated judgey stare and cringe>. You know he is never going to leave your bed... blahblah
People still give the same speech but the cringe is more pronounced because we are still engaging in this form of child abuse at 1 yr.
Me: Yeah, I read that book, it's not really our thing. Thanks though!
Amazingly, people tend to accept this!

The beauty is I am not lying. I HAVE read your favorite sleep book. This is an actual image from my Kindle.

Without any debate, we are both able to walk away from the conversation firmly convinced that we are right as we each mutter to ourselves, "Well, I may not be a perfect parent but at least I'm not as bad as she is, yikes!"