My little detainee

"Sleep like a baby" they say. I'm sorry, but what babies are being referenced here? Not mine, I can tell you that. The child HATES SLEEPING. If any expression was coined based on this baby it would be "The only constant in life is change". What worked yesterday is almost guaranteed not to work today. Example: remember the whole snuggling / not sleeping unless held thing?? He's over it. So over it in fact that when I pick him up and hold him against my chest (previously a surefire way to knock him out) he wails as if to say "I know this trick and I refuse to sleep!" I try to explain to him that sleep deprivation is actually considered torture, why is he doing this to himself?

"Haha I will never sleep!"

The latest trick that, sometimes, works on him is sensory deprivation. Also a torture technique!! Lucky for us, we have an abundance of bedrooms in our house (Utah thing) and one of those bedrooms is in the basement and has no windows. We were thinking it would make an ideal room some day for our least favorite child and it would appear someone is entering themselves in the running, but I digress. For now, the room is the ideal sensory deprivation chamber. It gets absolutely no sunlight and convinces little B to close his eyes because there is nothing to see here. I actually walked circles in this room for an hour with him in the carrier the other day just to force a nap. Who's the detainee now?

Still hates tummy time but no longer falls asleep.

Besides studying Special Forces training materials in case he's ever captured by a hostile regime, Bennett has also apparently picked up a copy of "The How To Be A Normal Baby Handbook". He has decided that it's now ok to fall asleep in the stroller or the car but only in 30 min intervals. Yesterday as I was driving back from the chiropractor he fell silent in the back seat. (Yes I have one of those mirrors to see his face when I'm driving but I can't work out the angles yet.) It was almost noon and he had been awake since 6:45. I had to keep him asleep. I could not stop that car, not even for a red light. As I pondered a strategy I couldn't help but feel like this was a familiar quandary. Then it hit me. My idol, Sandra Bullock, faced this very same dilemma in the movie Speed! She and Keanu had to keep that bus moving otherwise it would explode and where did they go? The airport! You can circle the airport without stopping. Where did I go? The airport! Unfortunately you have to slow to 10 MPH which is essentially stopping and he woke up and wailed the whole way home. Please send help.

Ahhhhh a beautiful thing