MENSA application submitted

Because pregnancy wasn't enough, the What To Expect franchise now offers books and web content on all stages of baby and childhood. Thankfully, between The Knot/The Nest/The Bump and What To Expect I feel that my entire life has been, and shall continue to be, properly micromanaged.

Much like with pregnancy, there is just not enough going on with babies to generate interesting or useful daily content. As an example, the other day I received an email with the subject "Is My Baby Gifted?" Obviously I know the answer to this (he exceeds perfection in every way) but I clicked to read the article anyways.

The signs of genius in a baby are apparently things you wouldn't think of like 1. your baby seems smart 2. your baby figures things out that other babies don't figure out 3. your baby learns quickly. I was regretting wasting those 4 seconds of my time until I got to the bottom of the list. It turns out if your baby is a bad sleeper it could mean he/she is gifted!

I doubt Mozart could compete with those thighs.

Great! I'm going to run with that. Now when I'm up 5 times a night I will just tell myself it's B's budding intellect that is keeping us both awake. I'll simply massage his cranium and see if I can calm the rapid neuron development long enough to get him back to sleep.

I trust that the poor intern who had to write this article did thorough research so based on B's unprecedented display of sign #6 of genius, I have gone ahead and spent his college fund on shoes since the scholarships should start rolling in any day.

All you have to do to vote is click the banner! You can vote every day!