Delirious denial

Unlike our son, G is able to fall asleep anywhere and anytime. He says that he trained himself to do this as a child in case he was ever taken hostage. He thought he could outsmart his captors by simply sleeping through any torture. It seems G underestimated his eventual foe, our 9 month old. As I've already harped on, sleep has been horrendous around here and that is really saying something. It's almost become a scientific experiment to see what happens to the human brain under such hostile conditions.

Yesterday I took B to the pediatrician who said he thought B might be suffering from reflux. He suggested we try Mylanta for a few days to see if it helps and if it does then he will write B a prescription for a more legit medication. Although I know how dangerous hope is, I still left the doctor's yesterday filled with it. I called G and asked him to pick up some Mylanta on the way home so we could begin to experience relief immediately.

Shortly thereafter I received a call from G who was wandering around the pharmacy. It went something like this.

G: They only have Mylanta chewables.
me: I don't think that will work, B doesn't have molars.
G: You don't think he would just suck on them?
me: I think he might choke on them.
G: It says it's Mylanta gas.
me: Oh, well he has heartburn not gas.
G: You don't think this would help?
me: ...
G: They also have stuff for teething here, is that what we want?
me: No, we want something for heartburn.
G: Oh, here's some Pepto. I think that will help.
me: What are the active ingredients? Are they the same as Mylanta?
G: <reads off active ingredients that are in no way the same as Mylanta's>
me: Those aren't the same.
G: It will probably work though.
me: I think we should stick with what the doctor prescribed. Can you go to another store and check?
G: They have a steamer here.
me: ...
G: He's been really congested lately so maybe we should try this?
me: ...
G: I'll keep looking here.

G was so tired and so desperate to not go to another store that he was pretty much willing to give our child any type of medication that was sold at that particular pharmacy. After another phone call that closely resembled the first, I persuaded him to check another store. The second pharmacy has delicious flavors of Ben and Jerry's which is probably the only thing that actually got G in the door. He returned home victorious with Mylanta, Milk & Cookies, and Clusterfluff.

"Hi, I'm not here right now. Please leave that nasty chalky stuff with Mr. Bear."

After his first Mylanta dose, B slept in his crib until 11, came to bed, slept until 3 (!!!!!!) when he nursed and went right back to sleep, nursed again at 4, and was up and cheerful at 6. This may sound horrible to parents whose baby sleeps through the night but this is the best it's been around here in ages. As I said, hope is a dangerous dangerous thing. I'm sure tonight will be horrible.