Slow down

Yes, I know I still have a blog. I haven't entirely forgotten its existence it's just that I am actively denying it. B turned 10 months several days ago and I always do a picture post to recap the past month so I should have done that already. The thing is though, B turned 10 months. That is double month digits and double month digits is awfully close to being a year old which is awfully close to being a toddler and not being my baby anymore. (Although as I often say to him in a creepy soft whisper, he'll aaaaaalways be my little baaaaby.) This is a thought I cannot bear and I'm hoping that perhaps by not acknowledging the passage of time it will actually slow down.

I don't really want B to turn into one of those grown up babies that have weird fetishes for wearing diapers and footie pj's and never get jobs or anything, It just makes me sad to think that he won't actually be a baby for much longer. (I am trying to find solace in the fact that although babies may not sleep through the night, children do! Right????) Anyhoo, this weekend has convinced me that not only can I not prevent B's toddlerhood with mind tricks but I am doing myself a disservice by ignoring it rather than preparing.

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This weekend we had some of G's relatives in town and the group included a toddler, who unlike B is an actual real life toddler at age 2.5. J is sweet, adorable, and a delight, yet we are not even close to ready for her. As soon as she walked in the door she was off to explore and discover. Our house, I like to think, is mostly baby proofed. It was immediately clear, however, that it is not toddler proof. She can reach things! And pull on things. And go outside by herself and eat things she's not supposed to! In the first four hours of her stay here I added at least 10 items to my toddler proofing list.

"That's nice, Dad, but my cousin knocked that thing off, stripped down naked, and jumped in this thing..."

Some of the near incidents, so far, are...

-In a blur of toddler speed, J unlocked the back door, ran outside, and ran directly toward the unsealed box of hot tub chemicals. Oopsie.

-J could not figure out how to open the baby gate immediately so instead shook it and managed to mostly dislodge it. (Note to everyone: pressure mounted baby gates don't work and you are going to end up screwing them into the wall so don't waste your money!!!)

-J climbed up onto a bar stool next to B's high chair to help feed him dinner. Awwww. Then she found a cell phone charger that was plugged into a high plug on the counter. Then she tried to feed the business end of the charger (while still plugged into the wall) to B for dinner!!! Cue panic.

-J's mother found a Sharpie on a surface out of B's reach but well within J's. We inspected the area and found no artwork anywhere beside J's arm. However, the panic on J's mother's face as she told me that J knew how to take the tops off of markers was all I needed to understand how this could've easily become a disaster.

In conclusion we have some work to do to get ready for the next phase. At least we can hope that by the time we need to expend significantly more energy during the day, B will be sleeping through the night. J's mom is not that lucky.