Mother's interest rates

Yesterday began with me cleaning poop off of multiple things and people. Then, against all odds, the day went downhill. So rather than discussing my Monday I'm going to talk about my Sunday, Mother's Day.

It was my first Mother's Day as a mother so that was exciting but I still have a mom to celebrate too. I like to think I've always appreciated my mother (except when she single-handedly ruined my life during adolescence). To make a total non-surprising statement, now that I've had a tiny taste of what is involved in being a mom, I now appreciate her even more. Even before this change in my perspective, it seemed like an insurmountable challenge to express enough gratitude but now I have determined it's impossible.

All this pondering has led me to one conclusion: mothers are loan sharks. They give and give and give and then they make it impossible to ever pay them back. At first, I thought I had devised the ultimate repayment plan. I would pay it forward! If only I could do my best to be as wonderful as a mom to B as my mom was to me, then perhaps that would be some sort of appropriate trade. Then the shark upped the interest rates on our loan. Now that she lives in the same city as us, my mom provides ample and top quality child care and I find myself further buried in debt.

"Sorry about that diaper incident, it was an accident! Do you think you could remove that line item from my bill?"

So the question I'm sure you are pondering is what did I get my mom for Mother's Day? A card, a homemade, breakfast, and dinner out. Based on my calculation, these gifts account for perhaps the first two weeks of her pregnancy with me. Of course she again ruined my attempts to chip away at my debt by helping to care for my child while I cooked breakfast for her and while I finished my dinner. It might be time to file for maternal bankruptcy.

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