Challenging authority

B got a new book yesterday about monkeys jumping on the bed. You know the one? Five little monkeys are jumping on the bed. One ends up hurting himself. The mom calls the doctor and the doctor advises her to put an end to the bed jumping.

Good luck getting that song out of your head for the rest of the day

We all know what happens next. Four little monkeys jumping on the bed!!! I never thought about it as a kid (obviously) but what a negligent mother. Not only was she allowing her monkey children to continue this dangerous activity but she was intentionally disregarding medical advice. At least that was my initial reaction to this mother's story...

As I thought about it more I determined that I should not feel so high and mighty and perhaps shouldn't judge her. Maybe I don't fully understand her situation and come to think of it I have also disregarded advice from the pediatrician in the past. Once I came to realize that I am in fact the monkey mom I began to see her not as a negligent parent but as an A+ mother. She continues to call the pediatrician because she values his or her advice on this matter but she is able to use her own brain to decide that perhaps she actually knows what is best for her own children more than this so called medical professional. Perhaps she has also realized that deciding upon recreational activities for her monkeys is really more of a parenting question than a medical question.*

*One could make the argument that given the inevitability of the head contusions in this scenario it actually is a medical issue but that would not illustrate my point as well so let's just go with it.

While I may disagree with monkey mom's assessment that bed jumping ending in head injury is a suitable activity, I respect her ability to stand up to this fake authority. It seems like so many parents treat the word of the pediatrician as parenting gospel. Why?? Just because they can locate and remove an appendix they are suddenly childhood development experts? Don't worry, this isn't my way of justifying never vaccinating my child. We support herd immunity and when it comes to actual medical matters I respect doctors' authority and expertise.

"Ok monkeys, maybe your mom can call my mom and then I'll be allowed to jump on the bed."

When doctors dish out eating and sleeping advice, however, I channel my rebellious streak. I mean they wear white coats and have many framed degrees, I feel like I should do everything they say. I have to keep reminding myself that this expertise is limited and that they are not authorities on everything. Just because they tell me to do something it doesn't mean it's the best thing and it doesn't mean I have to do it! I am the Milgram Experiment participant who refuses to deliver the deadly electric shock.

So on what matters do I disobey? For starters I've put B to sleep on his tummy since he was 6 weeks old. It was best for him in the sense that he was able to sleep for hours rather than minutes at a time. Lately I've disobeyed the doctor's advice on solids. I felt like it was too early to push that much food on B and I don't want it taking the place of breastmilk this young. I'll worry when I feel like he's about to starve... When it comes to sleep, B's doctor actually has a philosophy that's pretty much in line with my own (probably because I rigorously screened out the other pediatricians with my typed list of questions) so I am willing to listen to what he has to say here. That was, until he told me that I should take B for a walk in the stroller to calm him down before bedtime. Either he has not met my child or he thinks screaming and squirming in a full fit of rage is conducive to sleep.

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