Do you work?

When G first moved out here I stayed in DC and we did the long distance thing. My two homes are very different places in a lot of ways. When you are in DC, people start a conversation by saying, "What do you do?" This is not meant to exclude stay-at-home moms it's just that when I lived there I was in my early-mid twenties and there were no stay-at-home moms that met that description. People there don't have kids until their 30's and fewer women stay home. Out here things are quite the opposite. So when I would visit G here people would ask, "Do you work?" At the time we were not living together, engaged, or married, we didn't even reside in the same city, and needless to say we had no kids so this question baffled me. No, G did not mail me checks so I could get manicures and massages and pay my rent in DC. Clearly no one actually thought that and they were merely making conversation the way people make conversation here but I was snotty and so I resented the implications of the question. I just wished they would ask, "What do you do?"

Well this past weekend I met some friends of a friend and after asking how I knew our mutual friend they said, "What do you do?" That was the first time since living (or visiting) here that anyone had uttered those words to me. I did a little hallelujah dance in my head and decided I liked these women. Then it dawned on me that I now didn't know how to answer that question. I stuttered and answered,



me: Oh. Nothing.

[Awkward silence]

me: Oh, I mean I just had a baby. So I guess I do that. I watch my baby.

Lady Who Thinks I'm Weird: Wow, you look good!

me: Oh, I mean not just. It's been a while, I should probably get a job.

[Clearly this is not the conversation she envisioned. Thankfully another friend of friend jumps in.]

2nd Lady Who Thinks I'm Weird: Well what were you doing before your baby?

me: I got my masters in statistics.

2LWTIW: Oh wow, I hate math.

me: Hmm yeah, most people do.

[Awkward silence]

me: Before that I was a computer programmer.

[Awkward silence while I realize people like to discuss this even less than math.]



At this point I am thinking, why didn't they just ask me, "Do you work???" This would have been so much easier. Crap, I've conformed.

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