I'll take my granola with a side of chemicals

I definitely have delusions of grandeur when it comes to being a hippie parent. I tend to think I have the most liberal and earth-mother views on almost every parenting issue out there.  Realistically I probably do fall closer to the hippie end of the spectrum, however, I'm finding that there is somewhat of a disconnect between the parenting views I think I have and the parenting behaviors I actually exhibit.

On the inside, I am a complete diehard Dr. Sears devotee and subscribe to attachment parenting. I firmly believe that the early years are so critically important for a child's sense of security, self-worth, yadda yadda, and that by forming a secure attachment to G and me, B will actually be better equipped to independently take on the world when he's older. It is this philosophy that is the driver behind most of my parenting decisions so that would seem to make me an attachment parent right? Then why do I feel like a fraud?

There is a whole host of behaviors that tend to go along with the attachment parenting philosophy, most of which I don't exhibit. These behaviors include:

-No crying it out- I do this one! I think my devout adherence to this tenant is the only thing that keeps me in the attachment parenting club. My determination should be admired given all the torture being documented on the Sleep Talking tab.

-Natural birth- I'd rather carve out my eyes with a spoon.

-Home birth- Sorry, I require medical care for bruises so there is no chance I'd birth a child without a surgical wing nearby. Additionally I'm pretty sure anesthesiologists don't make house calls.

Hospitals also feed you chocolate cake while they check on the health of your baby!

-Co-sleeping- I actually feel the most guilty about this one. I really wish we co-slept and I will probably do this with my next baby that I can't yet fathom having. Then I will probably feel crushing guilt that I did not co-sleep with B. Sure there is still time to start with him but the couple of times I've tried recently, he hates it. He loved it as a newborn, because they all do, because it is natural, and because it is how babies are meant to sleep, I am the worst mother in the whole world aaaaaaa. The reason I couldn't keep doing it when he was teeny tiny is because I thought I would kill him. Actually I thought G would probably kill him and then I might've killed G and myself in some horrible murder-suicide-made-for-TV-movie type of way.

-Breastfeeding- I do this one, yay! However, I caved to the pressure from his pediatrician to introduce solids before 6 months.

-Homemade baby food- Here's where I could make up for the early introduction of solids but I don't even cook for my husband or myself so this would be a bit of a stretch. I do, however, make sure to buy all B's food from Whole Foods and I only choose the kinds that are packaged with neutral muted tones as that tends to make me think they are more natural than the kinds in fluorescent packaging.

"Gimme some more of those delicious preservatives!"

-Babywearing- I am so pro-babywearing! Again, because I think it's natural for babies to want to be attached to their moms all the time. I own five different baby carriers even! Unfortunately I use them all roughly never because I have a bad back.

Much easier back when he was 5 lbs lighter and even then I looked a tad strained.

So, in conclusion, I am a fraud. An attachment parenting misfit. Basically I shop at the Urban Outfitters of parenting. I strut around in my mass produced bohemian chic sweaters and try to hang out with the thrift store crowd. At least I don't smell like a thrift store because those places can be nasty.

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